he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
