Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
