My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
