And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
