i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
