I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
