Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
