whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I smell like Dick and happiness
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
