yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
