i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
