The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
