I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
