Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
What a dumb baby whore.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I would ride that face into the sunset
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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