yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
