Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
