what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
