im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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