i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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