i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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