just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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