and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
