Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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