The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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