She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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