you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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