youre lurking in front of me
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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