Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
