I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize