if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
