what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
