i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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