just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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