He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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