It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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