Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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