Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize