He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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