I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
