I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
