bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize