Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
