It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
