i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
