Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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