East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
