Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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