I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
