Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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