I accidentally had phone sex last night
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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