i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
