I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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