I skipped work to stalk him.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
