that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
