It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
