He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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