I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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