This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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